A kiss to build a dream on

First serious talk debate thing with the father ever since I moved back in.
At least there was no screaming and yelling like what happened in the past.

Both of us were using soft, controlled, yet super firm tones against each other haha. I kind of wish we could go back to screaming. Anything is better than taking passive aggressive stances. I hate talking over issues in the adult way.

We ended up compromising.
You will do whatever you can to schedule it on December, and will only use November if there's absolutely no choice.
I will allow you to touch my instruction week in November, and work to clear my schedule before the event happens. At the worst case.

I just hope my teachers will be able to take the time shift...
And this trip had better be fucking awesometastic.

Realized that I'll choose work over family anytime. Guess I'm really not the kitchen type, haha...

tribulations

i felt like i just lost a non existent fight.
you're not working the field, you're letting the field work you.
why shan why.

biting the hand that feeds me feels incredibly painful, and bitter

gotta learn to zen with my mom.
if i keep on shoving myself into corners, i'll probably end up squashing myself to death one day.

SO UNPLEASANT

nameless

拿得起, 就要放得下

说得容易, 做得难...

talking only me and you

usually when things has gone this far
people tend to disappear

no one will surprise me unless you do

...
there i go again
depending on others for miracles
i'm lucky half of them even worked

what's a girl to do

lady can only sit back, cross her fingers

and wish for more warmth