And it's okaaaaay

Had a super long convo with the mother. Lady actually knew I was crushing around since Day 1, but kept quiet about it to save my ego. Teehee. Can't fool her.

She agreed I made a good choice to give it up though. And she's proud of me for that. We went a little more in-depth after that, but I guess I won't touch too much on that here... it can be pretty controversial teehee.

Talked to her about the infidelity issue.

"I can't do it. I keep on jumping ship."

"You gotta have willpower. These temptations isn't gonna end even if you get married. You'll have to keep on rejecting these distractions. This is responsibility. When people talk about having responsibility in relationships, this is exactly what it means. You're responsible for maintaining this bond."

And she gave me this look that told me she really understood my problems. That told me I wasn't alone as a flutterfly.

So I'm sitting here now, typing, thinking about my current situation. What am I doing, treating this as some kind of game? Oh, I need some spice in my life, maybe getting a fling might do the job? Hey, boyfriend for a day? Will you still be proud of me if you ever came to know about this one day?

ah

trying not to think

but who am i fooling; time's still moving on
tsk ;E

I enjoy green tea

Oh, don't say that, Ame
You have no idea ;/

Every single time I make someone smile comes a few days' worth of gossiping and careless hating behind it

Because I'm nasty that way

;/

Oh no

Need to wait another three months just to say sorry ah, shan |:

No one's singing songs for me

Of two totally different worlds.
Could fight but is this worth fighting for? No. :/

Either way, I should apologize...

Sigh.

O mother, I wish you could guide me through this
./kowtow