ive failed myself . i dont what to say, what to do. i tried. i really tried. but i cant..
its been years.. am i destined to just stand by and watch, and never take the limelight? am i destined to fail, to watch people snatch the reward i sought?
i dream about it everyday, the day i waited for 15 years. it didnt come. i drew out every thing i wanted to accomplish, but thats the closest step it can bring me to my goals. paper and granite.
how abstract.
what am i? whats the USE of me existing? i aint contribuing nothing, im just another piece of crap in the world. i failed myself, failed badly.
im ashamed to face them..really. i restarted my life- billions of times- but im still at the same ending.
same stupid ending.
enough playing of games, fate. if you aint giving me the stuff i wished for, dont even let me get close to them then. it'll lessen the hurt. a lot.

whos the one who will, for once, take me seriously? understand my hints? know what im thinking? if so, where? i aint waiting. i rather look, no matter where it brings me. ive enough of everything.