445

I'm feeling kinda disappointed, and for a good reason.
Maybe it's time I find new motivations. new motivators.

but then again, i've been spiralling down quite drastically, too. damn. lost my will to win this fight. yet, i don't want anyone to take the top spot , too. it's almost like wanting the first place to die with me. bloody hell. this place is competitive as hell. i cant get a decent person to share my life with without worrying about how the information can be used against me.

yeah, i'll admit, i got distracted by my obsessiveness. Major.
I'm spending more time countering than actually focusing on other stuffs. more important stuffs.

but SHIT, i dont wanna lose it, oh no no no. I dont wanna lose something that ive fought so hard to keep and maintain. i dont wanna lose what i have actually grew to love. but i guess, its not up to me to decide anymore ):

let those dandelions fly.

//
mr nic gave me a chance O:
gonna cosplay as dana from first kiss
lol.
im gonna spam gym , man.

so excited
SO EXCITED