The long and awkward silences was getting too troubling, so I stayed off it altogether. U-hu-hu. Relationships. Be it friends or family. Why the f_ck are they so hard to maintain lol. That's probably why I'm the only one not in touch with my sec school friends. Everything falls apart if I stop maintaining 'em. Pffft. Both Twit and RL are getting distant again. Should step up Twitting if I want my plan to carry through though.
I feel like creating one of my own, but will that count as betrayal against the guild I've devoted a year to?
Another worry - can the plan take flight?
Setting it up is one thing, building contacts and connections are another. and its time i wake up to this fact ; aesthetics isn't everything. argh damn. just because im under training to specialize in this field doesnt mean that THE WHOLE WORLD MUST REVOLVE AROUND IT
what the fuck was i thinking lol
I think im just being more of a burden to the VS then a loyal and productive member.
Mal shuld hate me for taking things into my own hands, actually
I've no idea why he's even saying thank you to me
i dont think i deserve it
at all
my 'helping out' contributed to nothing
my rping was bull
im just one of the few active members left, nothing else
pfft
for a while, i thought i was special. i thought i could turn things around.
oh man why did I drift to another ranting session about VS. and my incompetence. lololol.
Anyways. im now taking an ''offline'' approach when facing the real world. im not even bothering to appear offline now, ill just stay the hell off msn.
let me wallow in peace hahaha
until my confidence crawls back into this thick but empty shell
I'll be heading off and out tomorrow.
Not looking forward to it, but not entirely rejecting it, too.
It's a ''what else can I do?'' kind of situation. *shrugs*
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