ive failed myself . i dont what to say, what to do. i tried. i really tried. but i cant..
its been years.. am i destined to just stand by and watch, and never take the limelight? am i destined to fail, to watch people snatch the reward i sought?
i dream about it everyday, the day i waited for 15 years. it didnt come. i drew out every thing i wanted to accomplish, but thats the closest step it can bring me to my goals. paper and granite.
how abstract.
what am i? whats the USE of me existing? i aint contribuing nothing, im just another piece of crap in the world. i failed myself, failed badly.
im ashamed to face them..really. i restarted my life- billions of times- but im still at the same ending.
same stupid ending.
enough playing of games, fate. if you aint giving me the stuff i wished for, dont even let me get close to them then. it'll lessen the hurt. a lot.
whos the one who will, for once, take me seriously? understand my hints? know what im thinking? if so, where? i aint waiting. i rather look, no matter where it brings me. ive enough of everything.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
*
Today was boring.
Was wishing for the end of school ..^^ one year le wor. see how dedicated i can be when i put my heart in it. wahahas. too bad you dunno only. or i can be awarded with medals or something.
Play audition 2mths ler , made A LOT. and i mean A LOTTT of friends. very happy. but will they be there when im in trouble? i feel so vulnerable suddenly.
Kena chan and sot step on foot. sot stepped on injured one lah, and i was like ow. then i remembered my p sch days. howard and dominic. i practically went home covered in bruises everyday.
Sec3 le still cnt forget wor. very sad..remembering the past. if can i would cry in the mrt sia.
but i cry they will die meh? say sorry meh? waste of emos. let bygones be bygones...
going pcbunk on sat ^^ looking forward to it.. wahahas. hm. and speaking of pcbunk. ._. i still cannot remember the guy pks told me about. wah. >< sorry, whoever you are. why were you looking for me anyway. o.0 but im still looking forward to it.. ^^ made me seem less of an introvert i am.
Was wishing for the end of school ..^^ one year le wor. see how dedicated i can be when i put my heart in it. wahahas. too bad you dunno only. or i can be awarded with medals or something.
Play audition 2mths ler , made A LOT. and i mean A LOTTT of friends. very happy. but will they be there when im in trouble? i feel so vulnerable suddenly.
Kena chan and sot step on foot. sot stepped on injured one lah, and i was like ow. then i remembered my p sch days. howard and dominic. i practically went home covered in bruises everyday.
Sec3 le still cnt forget wor. very sad..remembering the past. if can i would cry in the mrt sia.
but i cry they will die meh? say sorry meh? waste of emos. let bygones be bygones...
going pcbunk on sat ^^ looking forward to it.. wahahas. hm. and speaking of pcbunk. ._. i still cannot remember the guy pks told me about. wah. >< sorry, whoever you are. why were you looking for me anyway. o.0 but im still looking forward to it.. ^^ made me seem less of an introvert i am.
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