lucky

不知道,不知道

back up, back up

keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, UHH!

stubborn youth

i hope i'll be able to bring up happier topics to talk about soon. HAHA
our train rides back home are always filled with my sighing rofl
makes me feel bad for subjecting him to such treatment
I'm a pretty cheerful person!
It's just that
these few days have been extremely tough

but im glad i can smile on default hahhaaha

its damn easy to settle actually
open mouth ask can already

call everyone out and just open mouth and ask

pretty girl rock

had a very long talk with the mother
emerged feeling like the dumbest idiot on earth

the interview tired the hell out of me
lots of trick questions
lots of demoralizing prods
basically felt like a piece of shit by the time I walked out of the office

the mother said it was normal to go through this
apparently they're testing my personality and character
testing my confidence

apparently she went through the same shitty experience
but she made the mistake of giving up
only realized they actually planned on hiring her after she changed jobs.

I was like
OHHHH
OKAAAAY
LIKE THAT AHHH
CHEEEEEYYYYYY |||||:

Talked to her about other things too
Got my respective help and support back

Insecurity and lack of confidence is proving to be a major problem for me

Do I honestly think I'm not good enough to be hired/to have the most awesome peeps/to deserve happiness

YES, I REALLY THINK SO

lol
i'm like
another sean deep down insde

I still don't think I'm good enough la
But I'll try looking at myself with more self worth lor
Less hating, more self loving

think my jealousy problem will disappear once I get my confidence and trust back

then I wont stir up drama any more

:)

waiting for the end to come

to say that my innards arent twisted into a bunch of panic drenched mess is an outright lie.

I'm not ready
But I'll probably never be ready anyway

COME WHAT MAY, SHANNNNN

:D