447

taking baby steps back into speed painting..

Can't read my,
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)
Can't read my
Can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
(She's got to love nobody)

446

TITLE: ARTBLOCK ):
The title explains itself....

-----------------------------------------------------

SHIT.
SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.

WHILE SURFING DA, I ACCIDENTALLY CHANCED ONTO THE ARTIST WHO CREATED THE WEBCOMIC : HARU - SARI

H.O.L.Y. S.H.I.T.

Memories, the memories!
Ohhhh.

And of course, that led me back to ashen ray : blackbird.

ohhhhhh.

Haru - Sari is drafted using 11 years of effort. (Read: ELEVEN DAMN YEARS)
Blackbird has been in progress for years.

And both of them are only a decade older than me by the max.

Shit, man.

The sense of failure is crashing upon me again.

):

I want my creations to come alive and tell their own stories too, I want my creations to have epic adventures. Have a life. Do the things that I can't do. I want them to laugh, to cry, to love, to hate, to think, scheme, dream..

to breathe.

):

445

I'm feeling kinda disappointed, and for a good reason.
Maybe it's time I find new motivations. new motivators.

but then again, i've been spiralling down quite drastically, too. damn. lost my will to win this fight. yet, i don't want anyone to take the top spot , too. it's almost like wanting the first place to die with me. bloody hell. this place is competitive as hell. i cant get a decent person to share my life with without worrying about how the information can be used against me.

yeah, i'll admit, i got distracted by my obsessiveness. Major.
I'm spending more time countering than actually focusing on other stuffs. more important stuffs.

but SHIT, i dont wanna lose it, oh no no no. I dont wanna lose something that ive fought so hard to keep and maintain. i dont wanna lose what i have actually grew to love. but i guess, its not up to me to decide anymore ):

let those dandelions fly.

//
mr nic gave me a chance O:
gonna cosplay as dana from first kiss
lol.
im gonna spam gym , man.

so excited
SO EXCITED