superflat

i just

dont want to be alone

:/

psyche

i can never move on

because i never did let go

even after all these while

thinking

thinking

still thinking

what if, what could have, what should have

we were always quarrelling in my dreams

you were something i could never be

unattainable

...

..

.

thought of you

http://vimeo.com/14803194

heart wrenching :I

i picture the perfect scenes in my head, pictures of pure bliss and happiness

i fight damn hard for it, tears blood sweat invested

i got it

and got disappointment in return

because real life can never compete with the images i directed in my head...

sometimes, i guess, its just dumb to fight so much for something you're not 100% sure about.

and its also assholic to give that fantasy fleeting moments of life. to give hope.

one day

the dream will stop

and you'll be all alone

and you sure as hell deserved it.

keenan at sea

Happy being oblivious

Stay like this

Lets all be best friends together

here with me

To keep my sanity intact for the past 4 days

I made a log of my activities

Day 1

Flight was awesome, got bored afterwards

Airport security not as scary as I thought...

Kind of miss my friends already

Day 2

Couldn't get used to the laidback way of life

I'll probably be bored to death

Sense a sadder story behind this 'facade'

Are they really that 'unconcerned' about 'money'?

Tried out chamomile tea for the first time. Tastes disgusting.

Day 3

Daydreamed more about this concept I had a few weeks ago.

Crocodile farm made me wish I took more thrills in life, got closer to nature. Animals are really laidback, just like the Sarawakians. Except for the babies. For now.

Don't like markets, don't like crowds.

Every tour group member had this stereotype to them. Cheerful, annoying, chatty and family orientated. We are the quiet ones. LOL. I think I got more of my clueless genes from my equally clueless dad. And my obedient genes from my equally obedient mom.

That's me all right. Know nothing, follow everything.

Not that it's a bad quality. I kind of like how it represents us as a family. Our trademark of cluelessness.

Day4

WHAT IS HAPPINESS.

Dad and taxi uncle were talking about it in the cab. As is the radio deejay on at that moment in time. Granted, there is a lot to be thankful for. And we should.

But I guess it's not up to anyone to define the ingredients of happiness.

If you're happy, that's fine. Don't teach anyone else how to be happy, your way. I think this is a deeply personal issue, a journey to be taken on one's own.

E's gonna come over in a bit. I kind of regret letting him send me home lol. Now he can stalk me anytime, anywhere

lolololol

lol

lol.....

i... what can i say...