-12-

today~ my bd~ is~ ruined~
hm. went to bunk le. but last min need turn back.. then >_> lucky draw missed by one number. what is this! went to do some talking, worrying, tearing, and explaining~ and thats abt it.
well. at least they treated me to food. >_>

nothing can pay back this day de la. dad said he wanted to make pt or whatever crap next year.. but its not going to be the same lor... never ever ever..

feeling very lost. its like as if.. everyone rejected me lidat. duno where to go, who to turn to~ my house is worse than hell le. carry on .. going lidat .. and i think ill jump and die le.. the stress is too much liao... but.. i still think. the damage is done. theres no freaking way im gunna back down. full stop.

-11-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME~ -muack muack muack-
Finally found decent stuff to wear~ hahaha. CANT WAIT! told fate that tmr is my bd ^^ kekeke. felt like ive struck the jackpot sia~ tourny + bd pt all in one! im gunna spam the camera button i tell you.

till now only knew ken, me, xian, and fate is going. not that ive seen fate in rl anw >_> haha~ sometimes.. really feel that i trust and rely on virtual friends more than the real ones. nt gd nt gd~ ...ah heck care. wooo~ Playing with my mascara now, trying to make it go as long as possible. LOL. am i crazy or am i crazy. hwahwahwa.

Mum forbade me to go work le >_> this cannot that also cannot. might as well stay at home la >_> all my lobangs kena her rej. wo pooi. >_> sian lor. sec4 heck care liao ahh.. night shift jiu night shift, take pic jiu take pic~!!!! RAWR!

-9-

what to do.. starting to vent my frustration on ppl liao.. feel very sorry towards the ppl arnd me. this few days are quite tough for me. i dont know whats the problem.. where it lies.. but i know theres one.

tore the letter mum wrote to me without reading it. lol. cant keep on crying forever de ah. id rather escape the harshness of reality. i swear she saw all the stuff i wrote on the paper. luan. i dont want her to know abt this.. but.. thats the truth im putting on it.

im not being rebellious ah.. i have my own principles to keep.. though you are my mum..you cant expect me to tell you everything de mah.. you didnt too. its not fair.

if my window is open right now ill gladly jump down and die sia. z. get the feeling that next year will be way tougher than this. hate this world. more specifically, hate money. no money = no worries. the world can freaking grow crops and be farmers for all i care. at least theres peace! why is everything based on money?

alrighty. ill give you my bank pin number and you stay outta my life. cant de right?! tmd.