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uber small piccy, was lazy to upload to a image host and stuff..

this bloody picture killed my fingers. see all the wrong proportions weird lengths. for once, im glad the camera phone murdered my details.

btw, im SO SORRY omfg. i got the hair of the court jester/you wrong #$#^#@. sigh, but you know what i mean ah, will support joo. nod. girls = ownage.

after drawing so much stuff for people.. its time to draw something for and about myself. (:
yes, i had long hair in the past, and yes, i wasnt overweight at that time. . .
bleh. this pict is.. weird lah.

am going to explode from all the stress ive gotten these few mths. (:

i could be genuinely scared, or i could be just acting so that people will come over and help.
i might be as weak as i look, or maybe im just keeping my strengths away inside me.
i can be all natural, or a highly superficial person.

sooo, what excatly is the young shan in the picture feeling?
I DONT KNOW! T_T

dammit, i always get so frustrated when i cannot answer to myself #$#%^&*^*.

you know what, i dread each day! i hate making decisions! i simply LOATHE the political stuffies happening in school! why, my smiles are a total opposite of what im feeling, alright. i was just putting on a damn front -_- and yay, no one noticed. get this, im just a liar. so good at lying that i cant even understand myself. why am i putting fronts on when i actually want people to care anyway?!

sigh, shan doesnt mean what she says.. maybe i could even be faking this post right now. see how complicated i am? what i seriously need now is a break. blah. but i cant >< , have to go on fighting. i dont care how badly im in conflict with myself, im still going to survive this nightmare. even if i have to crawl or smth, i will. >_>
something my uncle said kept me going till now. O: and i still believe it. im made for this. i have the potential . . .