-33-

i hate to admit it, but i just respected my sis a little more than last time lol. a little. -.-
considering how badly i thrashed her.. (eh, she BIT me. hard. its fair.) a few days before ..and after a few hours, we were back to being chummy friends. i even helped her got over the phobia of division. yes~ im a great tutor! bwahaha. im shameless. but today we thrashed each other again. wonder how long will it take for her to break the ice again lol.

anw~ the earholes i got in K2.. or issit K1.. nearly closed up ytd.. -.- i was wondering how long i didnt wear earrings ler.. then i walked over to mirror.. HOLY COW! its nearly gone lol. i took the thickest studs i can find and just stuffed it in. first its pain, then a kinda numbness set in.. but the pain is still there. esp in left ear. haha..since 80% of my ears are covered in injuries.. bobian. i think i opened up a wound when i was putting that stud in ba. hai. beauty = pain. haha.

hmm. regarding the issue, id figured i shd use this space instead of the tag. or im gunna flood the board lol.
i dont mind having you in my life, you were and still are a worthy friend. but that wont make any difference..i still cant find you, play with you, talk to you etc etc etc. its going to be hell for you sia. this is beyond my control ler...

i reached this decision because i -maybe- knew something more than you did. i wont say im disgusted by the info, i just had a really negative view towards it. made me quite dispirited. btw its reliable lol. came outta my mum's mouth. she wont lie, no matter how badly she was hurt by me. guranteed. i was sitting on the fence all the time.. and this just pushed me to the other side.

i dunno whether im going the right or wrong way. but i dont really care now lol. i just know that if i go on im gonna go mental liao..everytime i open fridge and see the candy cane ill go sad sia. more specifically, guilty. till now still cant bear to eat. hah. so i got myself a final decision to ease the bad feelings inside. tadaa. anw.. back on topic~

step back for a moment ba.. i can only use words.. the decision still lies in you lol. its not worth it.. to have a relationship that will leave everybody scarred and hurt.. for both you and me lol. a relationship that you know wont be lasting de. even if all these never happened.. what will happen in the next few weeks? months? years? have to face this ending.. no matter how much time has passed. for our case, the ending came ler. maybe its really too early, but its not up to us to control.

so yea. i cant force you to change the way youre thinking.. but ill try to dissuade. saw a lot of people suffering in this kinda situations. dont be the next victim.. its really mentally tiring de. not fun at all..