-27-

haha, new found respect for chinese rock songs. plus designers. these few days of random surfing really opened my opened my eyes. bwahaha. i still miss my audition tho. i think im going to spam this sentence in every post till i get back my dear ol audi back.

i found out smth! blood got the funny blood-ish taste eh? but when you roll it towards the back of your tongue its bitter! dun have the sour-ish taste de. haha. discovered it by chance. probably smth to do with the taste buds. read it somewhere but didnt try it with blood.

was wondering.. what if i continued with my violin lessons..? what if i continued with my fighting lessons..? what will happen to me? zomg, i gave up chances to stand in the spotlight! and here i am, staring daggers at the high heavens. maybe i really deserved this. i simply lack determination to get what i wanted --'' obstacles = end of journey for me. i could be a freaking black belt or violist now sia. hm. correct spelling ma~ zz. then i could walk the corridors of sch with no fear le. maybe even got pride. hah. zz.

also felt so small whenever im talking with my friend. he knows everything can -.- cant stump him. or am i really that dumb? hai. brushing up on my manga/ anime knowledge lol. reading and researching. sian dao lidat, you see!! last time i only depend on friend and trends de -.- but its also nice, i need picts for my siggy. ah well. back to max-ing the volume of jay chou music and random surfing again~

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mid day was scary -.- got a terrible stomach ache.. then went to sleep. woke up after a super bad nightmare. and you think thats bad. the moment i totally opened my eyes, there they were. yadda yadda yadda.

lesson noted:
never talk to them face to face. its all useless trash talk that they dont mean. want listen jiu catch them off guard. haha.

i was laughing to myself in the bed all the way .. lol. all the lies i spout.. they didnt catch me. all the truths i said, they were using it to weave other stories of their own and slam the crap outta me. so in a bad way, i AM a good liar. wahaha. but its ok. ill maintain my silence. since only i know the truth, only i know the story, it shall stay with me forever. im LAZY to clear up this mess. haha. if you want you can slog over it, but im already walking away from everything. youre clearing the floor for nobody, man. if everything failed, i still would like to keep my successes to myself. oh yes. my thinking worked. i knew my blog still aint safe. hahaha. i knew it. nothing will stop them. their arrogance is their weakest point to strike at, but i wont. haha. im twisting the morals of the stories i guess. im contented in the evil way. (: i finally got it lol. treating them is just like you would treat -some of- your ex(s).. never ever.. do the stuff they expect. show them they aint that impt in your life anymore. for they know nothing. they cant predict it. im freaking wayyyyy calmner then anyone, be it on the outside or inside. and im happy. i feel so .. on top of everything.

makes me wonder. why am I doing this? revenge? or just fulfilling my wish to bring hell to everyone? hahaha. but from what i know, im already over everything. i just chose to stay into this matter.. hm. for what. just to screw everyones' emotions up. bwahaha. maybe im really crazy, maybe i lack brains, maybe im just too cold hearted to give a damn about feelings of other people, but i dont give two hoots abt it. these few years is the rebellious stage of my life. (: to put it bluntly. DEAL WITH IT. sheesh. you think youre the worst off? please. ive seen people getting in much more worse cases than this.

i AM venting all my anger and hate ive gotten these past few years on you ppl. and i doubt im stopping. i cant. sad. bad luck for you people i guess. maybe you owed me something in my past life, or maybe i did. you triggered it. you HAVE to. theres no other choice for you. its your duty. so i can only say, too bad. too bad.

im supposed to be all sad and droopy over this matter. but im not. haha. bev would have been proud of this. yay, im stronger than before le! but in a very very very bad way, i know. but i dont care man, im stronger! hah!

my mistakes last time was to keep on trying to get them to know which is the truth, and ive gotten all sad and scarred from it. this time, ive been wiser. you cant be that stubborn and smush everything into people by force. thats what they always say anyway. haha. ''you are too damn fucking stubborn to be able to survive in the work force.'' maybe they are right! haha. ok then. i change. now i keep the truth to myself. weave your stories for all i care, i wont listen anymore.. for i am the one with the real answers, not them. im the one who went through this. and i only realised it now. IM the trump card. hahaha.. i wont be sad. ill just laugh.

what do you call it, entertainment. (: the dark way.

pardon me for being rebellious, but im just going by nature's way.

hahaha...